Thursday, 26 January 2012

Working in Ottawa today --Daniel 2 - Squirrels 0

Good Morning folks,

I will be working in Ottawa today, I think Don and Mel are off in Edmonton and in Montréal today the Canadiens trouncing (is that a word?) of the Red Wings 7 - 2 is the hot topic :)

I had a so-so sleep last night so my usual wit and banter is just... blegh.. a case of brain waves being on low tide.

Fell asleep on the plane.  Slept through the push back and then de-icing, woke up during the takeoff and then back into a head nodding sleep. 

And now attempting to full filling my obligation to keep my readership entertained.    I had read today in the Globe and Mail that in Canada the crime rate has steadily fallen for the last two decades.  Oddly, I have also read that Canadians support the the new federal crime bill that is going to get tough on crime and will impose tougher sentences and remove judicial discretion on those same sentences.  

Question for you.  If the crime rate has steadily fallen over the last two decades should we not continue exactly what we have been doing?  In other words, Why screw with success?

But that is not the subject that you want to hear about is it?  You want to know what is down with the squirrels.  Sorry for the 'down with' part.  Trying to work on my street cred.  I think it's working, you hip?

One squirrel was captured about a week ago in my attic, seems that squirrels has an inability to resist peanut butter.  Suddenly the whole Craft Brands marketing strategy makes sense.

That first squirrel did not put up much of a fuss at all.  Entered the trap, ate some peanut butter, tripped the trap and was caught.  Banged around a bit in side the trap cage and then quieted down much like the career criminal that has been on the run for a decade or so., seemed kind of relieved to be caught.

Was quiet, reserved and quite cooperative as I loaded cage and squirrel into my truck for a drive to a certain undisclosed location that although I did not look at my odometer, I am sure was within the statutory requirements for the relocation of trapped wildlife.  I did try to distract him during the drive, figured he might be trying to keep track of the speed, direction, and turns so I kept yelling out random numbers and told him lies about the speed we were traveling.

Drove home and then heard the second squirrel.  This was the gal with the power tools.  3 AM and what a racket.  She would jack hammer for a while and I would bang on the ceiling.  I rebated the three traps and waited.  And Waited.  And Waited.

Conventional wisdom says that she saw her boy toy get caught and figured she would be smarter and not head over towards the trap door.  So I moved the traps :)

Boom, caught her.  But oh boy.  I have never seen a more angry squirrel.  Or quite so vocal.  The squirrel was spewing a line of filth out of its mouth that is usually reserved for Question Period in Parliament.  This thing was bouncing off the walls of the cage and uttering the strangest of deep throated growling.  A squirrel.  Yep, got damn right angry. 

So, loaded into my truck for the drive to new pastures --again certainly I am sure within the statutory requirements and she was complaining through the entire drive, threatened to rip my face off, crazed monkey style is she ever got out.  But in the end, when I opened the trap, she just ran off.  Not so tough :)

Have a good day.  Don't piss off the squirrels.