Thursday 24 June 2010

Working in An Earthquake Zone

I understand from many Ottawa staff today that several persons evacuated the building during yesterday's earthquake.  This includes one 3rd floor individual that reportedly performed a George Castanza special and leapt over colleagues during his express exit.
Our staff should be informed that leaving one's desk and heading outside is the worst possible action one may take.  The risk of injury from falling debris, building materials and glass is much higher than being injured inside the building.
The best action to take is to position yourself under one's desk.  The desk top and sides will be strong enough to withstand all but the heaviest of falling debris.
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Working in Ottawa today --Tectonics

I want a t-shirt that reads "Stop plate tectonics now!"
But I don't have one, so instead I will be working in Ottawa today.  
Have a stable lithosphere day.
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Thursday 10 June 2010

Working in Ottawa today --Just Arm Everyone

Good morning folks, I will be working in Ottawa today.
If you see me, we can share a rant about the ever increasing costs of the G20 summit.
We're now building a fake Lake Muskoka in Toronto for the reporters that can't travel up to see the real one.  Ever hear of a photograph?
Combine that absurdity with hiring extra security to keep an eye on the cooks that were hired to make sandwiches.  Here's an idea, fire the untrustworthy cooks and have the security officers make the sandwiches!
And what the hell, fire the guy that hired the cooks too.
Don't get me wrong, I think the idea and practice of getting together and discussing solutions to common problems is grand, but let's not spend our way into more problems.
Current cost, about $35 for every man, women and child in Canada.
Of course this pales to the ridiculous cost of the U.S.'s war on terror, would have been more economical to have just equipped every American with body armor, a side arm, health care and an education.
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Thursday 3 June 2010

Working in Ottawa today --Lucky Larry

Good morning folks,
I will be working in Ottawa today.
Let's dive right in this morning, Foreign Affairs Minister Lawrence Cannon should have his pen taken away.
Bill C-26 was introduced by Lucky Larry (I don't know if that is his nick-name, but they have to start somewhere) last month to stem the flow of bulk water sales to our thirsty U.S. neighbors.
Sounds good so far, but wait.. the law specifically limits its scope to preventing bulk water exports of water to that of rivers that cross into or from the U.S.
If the U.S. would like any water from such waterways, would they not simply divert any water they wished prior to the water flowing into Canada in the case of rivers originating there, or wait for the water to flow into the U.S. in such cases as Canadian origination.
The reason for excluding the vulnerable waterways and water bodies such as Canada's lakes and wholly contained rivers and streams, Larry was reportedly hesitant to wade in on matters of provincial domain.
So rather than seeking consensus from the provinces or even just being bold or just writing a good law with wording like .. except where a province wishes to assert jurisdiction or object.. Instead Fire-From-The-Hip Larry tabled a useless law.
Take a bow Larry, everyone else, have a good day.

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