Thursday 30 July 2015

Working in Ottawa today --Nauseous verbs

Good morning folks,

I will be working in Ottawa today.

I saw a commercial this AM advertising Gravol, where within, a character says, ".. feeling nauseous? Take Gravol liquid caps.." or something to that effect.

This caught my attention as my understanding has always been that nauseous meant causes nausea and that persons suffering the effects of such a nauseant were feeling nauseated or suffering with nausea.  Now I figured I could be wrong, since I would expect a company like the makers of Gravol to know a thing or two about nausea as it is their raison d'état.

Oooh.. a bit of French tossed in at 8 AM, very fancy there Uncle Daniel!

Thank you gentle reader.  So look into definitions of nauseous I did, and in a moment resulting in total distraction found a reference that provided two definitions.  That which causes nausea; and affected with nausea.

I am not sure when nauseous came to mean both, but it may be a case of the ever evolving English language and how the meaning of words has become descriptive rather that prescriptive. 


The distraction: the example in one online source did give an example of "She laid down as she felt nauseous".

This caused me untolds (well I guess I am telling you) of grief as I could not readily determine if the author used the correct verb.

Let me explain.

Lay is a transitive verb and it means to place something down. It requires an object.
Lie is an intransitive verb and is used for something or someone moving on their own or something or someone that's already in position.

Of course there is also the deception verb, Lie. Also intransitive if I remember correctly.

The verb principal forms of each is:

Lay, Laid, Have Laid, Laying.
Lie, Lay, Have Lain, Lying.
Lie, Lied, Have Lied, Lying.

So what did the nauseated women do?

I don't think she laid down since there is no object in that sentence, only a subject.  She.  I suppose she could have laid her self down, "She laid herself down as she felt nauseated.".  But it sounds wrong to say, "She lay down as she felt nauseated.".

Maybe "She was lying down as she had felt nauseated." But that is past tense!  What is she doing now?

"She is lying down."


That must be it.

She told a lie about feeling nauseated just as she had lied before so that she could lay down as she had laid down before just and now was lying while she was lying about laying.

English as she is spoken.

Have a great day.  Keep all of your verbs in check.

Thursday 23 July 2015

Working in Montréal today --Anouncing... The Walkerator!

Good morning folks,

This morning in YYZ (Toronto's Pearson airport) while walking towards gate 37, or more specifically, walking towards the shoe shine guy near gate 35, I opted for the travelator, the moving sidewalk.

A young girl walking behind me with her mother's hand in firm grasp exclaimed, "look mommy, another walkerator!".  Folks.. I have never heard an autopedescalator called a walkerator, and yet, it seems totally natural.

I have heard them called moving sidewalks (blegh), autowalks (more blegh), moverator (that's okay), horizontal escalator (absurd since escalate means to raise rapidly), and this girl nailed it.  A quick search on the web revealed.... NO matches.  However Google did present me with 10,000 pages on the deceased actor Paul Walker, well on his way to becoming Saint Paul the Divine.

The latter is a pet peeve of mine, the beatification of dead celebrities and the associated recreational mourning of the same followed by hagiographic one hour TV specials on the life and times of dead celebrity and how their life was taken all too soon with b-roll footage of crying fans putting flowers on the gate outside some other dead celebrity's house.  Bah!

Okay, end of rant, back to the Walkerator.  Yes, I have switched it to a capitalized trade name.

It is now a mission of my life (albeit a minor one) to spread the word.  Walkerator.

I guess that's it for today.

What's that?  Sorry, my producer is yammering in my earphone about something.. we still have time, we've gone to dead air.. Quick dammit write something else!

Okay, how about this, both Princeton University and Ohio State University independently studied the question of whether or not mechanized walkways result in a time savings for the partaking traveller.

Both said no.  Walk instead.  The problem is that you have a high degree of risk that your pathway on the Walkerator will be blocked by fellow travelers whose legs have mysteriously failed to function or are the victim of a Crazy Glue prank are are then stuck and paralyzed directly in your path.

Moreover, the studies determined when your path is not blocked and you are free to walk on the Walkerator with wind blowing in your hair, you will save an average of a mere 11 seconds when traveling the length of a football field.  I should clarify, a 110 yard Canadian football field.

I will also mention that the Princeton study was purely on mathematical modeling, whereas the Ohio State study was field measurements at the Cleveland airport, and then someone yelled "road trip" so they went to the San Fransisco airport and measured there as well.

I try to minimize the risk by looking ahead on the Walkerator prior to making that committing step onto it and look for how many non-walking riders standing two abreast and in how many sets.  One or two, and you can walk up behind and with a quick "excuse me" they will shuffle and scurry out of your way like rats startled by a flicked on light, but too many and they get jammed up and you will be sunk.

Yeah, I thought that was odd imagery as well.

But we successfully used up the time, up next is the lovely Candice with the weather followed by Ted with sports.  This was another segment of Puckett's Pulp!

Have a great day, go for a walk.

And yes, I can write about just about anything.

Thursday 16 July 2015

Working in Ottawa today --Don't surf dumb

Good morning folks,  I will be working in Ottawa today.  

Woke up this AM and read about the Calgary couple the lost $20k out of their bank account to fraudsters that used an email transfer to a bogus account.

They can't understand how this happened and they find it notable that the bank "wasn't surprised" the woman half of the couple said "I thought they would be more shocked".

No, the bank was not surprised as this is a fairly typical theft.

I works like this.  Either Binky or his wife received an email (known as phishing email) from persons unknown purporting to be their bank.  The email would be either very well crafted and would include branding and the look and feel of communications from his bank, or it would be a horrible attempt at branding with mixed fonts and spelling errors.  Both are tailored for different types of vics.

Within the email there would be some reason why the vic needs to login into their online banking.  Need to verify the last few transactions, need to reset the password because of 'suspicious activity', what ever.  But for the vic's convenience a link to the bank's online portal is right there in the email, just click...

The link of course leads to a fake bank site that is there steal the vic's login credentials.

Um.. Uncle Daniel, the reason for well crafted emails and ones that suck?

Oh yes, the well crafted ones are meant to fool the more savvy yet distracted user, and the poorly crafted ones to fool the less intelligent, gullible folks.  It is actually quite clever.  If you as the fraudster fools someone with the poorly crafted one, then you know that you have a good chance at bilking them into the distant future.  You could follow up a theft with a fake email from a gov't agency that promises that for a $100 registration fee, the monies can be recovered and additional compensation provided.  Depending on the gullibility of the vic, the bilking can continue for months, eventually draining all funds, assets, from the vic.  Fool someone with the well crafted one, and the perp probably wants to make one hit, and recede into the shadows.

So what can one do to protect themself?


Seriously.  Even if you believe the email is from your bank and you have a burning desire to log into your account.  Just open your browser and log in as you normally would.  Same for PayPal, eBay, CRA, FaceBook, whatev.

I have also seen phishing attempts where phone numbers were listed to call gov't agencies demanding payment for tax arrears or fines.  Of course these numbers route to a call centre of fraudsters who are more than happy to take your credit card or banking information.

If you need to contact CRA, go to their website on your own and get the number.

Have a great day, surf smart.

Thursday 9 July 2015

Working in Montréal today --The gullibility edition

Good morning folks,

I will be working in Montreal today.

This might be the gullibility edition or the conspiracy edition of The Pulp.  Not sure, let's find out.   In the last few days I have had a variety of email, facebook, twitter and other social mediaesque messages that all are just.. wrong. Untruths, false conspiracies and pure wastes of time.

The first was the dire warning, that the gov's is spying on us.  Well, yes they are but tell me Binky, what revelation do you have for us?  That the Samsung phone battery has a secret hidden circuit wrapped around it under the label and it is used by the gov't to read everything you have in your phone, and here is a video explaining how to disable it.

Um... I wrote my Alberta friend back.  The guy in the video demonstrated how to destroy the Near Field Communications antennae on his phone, and now he will be unable to share contact info, links, photos or whatev with other close at hand Samsung phones.  It's not a secret, Samsung ads and instructions all explain their NFC and how great it is. Except video conspiracy dude's -his is now broken.  BTW, I am not saying that NFC can't be used by someone to spy on you, depending on your settings it could happen.  But the g-man would need to be hanging out pretty close to you.  There are much better (read: more efficient) ways to spy on you.

Then there was the RCMP alert, please pass this on if you care about the children!  There are gangs wielding guns kidnapping teenage girls off the streets in Grande Prairie and forcing the girls into prostitution.   Odd I thought.  For those not in the know, GP is north of Edmonton, has a population in the mid 50k and while fast growing and know for some spectacular bar fights (at least back when I was younger) is not know for gun toting gangs.  A quick check revealed that a couple years back a 6 year old girl claimed that a car pulled up to the curb with a couple in it that asked her some questions like, do you live alone?, do you want some candy?, does the East Witch live nearby?, and 'implied' that they were going to steal her and sell her to Gypsies or that is what the girl 'inferred'. The RCMP are still looking for the light grey coupe.  The girl is now 8 and has her own reality TV show.

And then there was the Petition.  Sigh.  Okay, this one is just dumb.  Before I reveal the nature of the petition I will provide some back data. China has 1.34 billion people,  give or take a few hundred. Canada is about 1/38th of the population and with Djibouti having less than a million people is about 1/38 the population of Canada.

in China there is a celebration of the summer solstice aka the dog-eating festival. During this festival there is perhaps 10-15,000 dogs eaten, mostly nureongi (yellow animal) along with lychees (soapberry) and grain alcohol.  The latter tastes a lot like diesel fuel thinned with acetone.  It hits you like a ball peen hammer in the forehead, but strangely you do desire more almost immediately.

About a week ago I was send a petition to sign to demand the Chinese celebrants halt this practice and eat something else instead, like chickens.  Really?  This would be a lot like Canadians receiving a petition signed by a few Djiboutans (I am guessing that what they call themselves, that or Djiboutians) asking me not to eat beef.  Although there are more than 40 million cows eaten each year so it's not really a fair comparison.  It is unknown how many were named Bessie by their rancher handlers, but safe to say none of the nureongi were named Spot.

I do not know how many chickens are eaten each year, but I do have concerns that there are more wings being sold than chicken feet.  Should there not be the same number - where the hell are all of the chicken feet going?  Please pass that question around.

I remember during the birth of the Internet as we know it, then it was easy public access to a an existing university network (yes I know, and the military industrial complex, thanks conspiracy-antiestablishment dude).  As I was saying, I remember that this would usher in a new Age of Enlightenment, the free sharing of knowledge and wisdom, that it would be like the Renaissance.  New development in the sciences and the arts, our children would grow up in a world of immediate access to the great works, to culture, history, leaps in medicine and human rights.


We have instead, photos of Walmart fashion faux pas, Nigerian bank scams, fake news, celebrity gossip, and online surveys of who is hot, and who is not.

Yeah.  Have a great day.

Thursday 2 July 2015

Working in Ottawa today --Miami's new suburb!

Good morning folks,

I will be working in Ottawa today.

Hey, Miami has a new suburb!

That's right folks, true to Obamarama's promise, the U.S. is taking some steps forward to normalizing relations with Cuba.  Yesterday, in a negotiation brokered by Canada and Pope Francis, the U.S. announced that John Kerry, Secretary of State, will pay a visit to the island nation on July 20.

For an extremely short recap of history, Cuba was ruled by the U.S. backed Fulgencio Batista regime until Jan. 1, 1959 when Fidel Castro over-through Batista and nationalized the farms and hotel-resorts and after failing to gain any U.S. aid for his nation, Fidel turned to the USSR.  The USSR agreed to give Cuba aid, in exchange for military installations in Cuba.  The Soviets parked some nuclear missiles there in 1962 and U.S. President Kennedy implemented a naval embargo around Cuba to block further Soviet aid and Soviet military equipment.  There was a tense several days while many thought the standoff would result in a first strike by the Soviets against the U.S.  But.. the Soviets capitulated and agreed to removal of the nuclear missiles.  Since that time, the U.S. has maintained a Cuban trade and travel embargo.

So why now?

I suggest it may have something to do with another news item from yesterday which I doubt anyone read.  Yesterday, General Martin Dempsey, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, produced a study that singles out Russia and China as aggressive countries and a threat to US security interests.

"Russia's military actions are undermining regional security directly and through proxy forces," it says.

The study points to the alleged presence of Russian troops in Ukraine as a source of tension between Washington and Moscow.

Relations between the United States and Russia are at their lowest point since the end of the Cold War in 1991, largely due to the crisis in Ukraine.

So this new spirit of cooperation by the U.S. towards Cuba could be to ward off any new strategic use of Cuba by Russia in its cat and mouse game with the U.S. and avoid Cuban Missile Crisis Part Deux, just sayin'.

Meanwhile, back in Miami, U.S. presidential contender Marco Rubio is not impressed with the Obama announcement, he does not want to restore relations with Cuba until all issues are resolved.  This includes 'legal claims' for property seized when Castro nationalize property, has U.S. diplomats meet with dissidents in Cuba and secure greater freedom for the Cuban people.

Huh.. he wants this before diplomatic relations are restored?  How does his believe that such discussions take place?  And as for property claims, give it up guy, just not going to happen.  Other people have been living in your apartment for the last 50 odd years.

Anyway, out of typing time, plane is landing.

Have a good day, Buenos Dias!