Thursday, 12 June 2014

Working in Ottawa today --a close shave at the polls

Good morning folks,

I will be working in Ottawa today.

"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.”
― Carl Sagan

That's a great quote from Carl Sagan.  Too bad I just don't have a suitable Pulp this morning to accompany it. Instead,  to entertain you I bring the new Gillette Roller Ball.  Or what ever it is called.  Don't forget to read till the end, special comment for those in Ontario heading for the polls.

Last night I viewed a commercial for the new Gillette razor handle, which near as I could tell was designed by a team of engineers that believe that shaving is an experience for your razor handle akin to Rosemère, Québec's Alexandre Bilodeau racing down the mogul hill in the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver to the AC/DC's TNT.

Gotta tell you, my face is just not that exciting.  I mean.. I know where all of the curves, bumps and berms are.  I just don't need a high performance razor with roller ball steering and tuned suspension.

But Uncle Daniel, you don't shave your whole face, just the top of your neck, cheeks up, and sometimes your ears.  Bet you thought we missed noticing those wisps of along the outer edge of your ears, didn't you?

Uh.. Why are you staring at my ears?  Never mind, true that.  I have only shaved my full face in 1999 for a brief spell and prior to that sometime in late 1970s.  All other years sporting a beard and stash, but I have a high degree of confidence that I could still navigate a blade over my jaw line without veering out of control and crashing into a fire hydrant.

I am curious exactly what is next.  When I was a kid, Gillette introduced the Track II cartridge blade.  Accompanying the announcement was a close up video showing how the first blade sliced only the top 7/8ths of the whisker leaving the remaining 1/8th to spring back like a ragged spring steel sliver only to be met with the second blade that sliced it off at the base leaving a smooth face ready to greet the day.

This was not my dad's single drop in blade that he had been using since crossing the Pacific in a corvette In WW II.  No sir.  This new blade was for me.

Corvette?  Yeah, sorry to create the confusing image in your head,  Not the car, the ship.  A corvette or corvet is a warship anywhere between 500 and 3000 tons and can serve as a Navy escort or submarine hunter. Dad served with first the U.S. Navy and then the Marine Corp in WW II and Korea.  Gillette supplied disposable 'safety' razors to the military effectively creating a huge market of men that never went back to the straight razor and strap.  A marketing success!

Gillette now offers a 5 blade cartridge razor, which by previous accounts should cleanly remove not only the whiskers but several epidermal and dermal layers scrape through the fatty tissue and begin trimming the mandible bone.

Mmmm.. bone trimming.  Yay!

Uncle Daniel, nice visual on the bone trimming.  Will you ever switch?

I figure when Gillette stops making the Track II and there are no knock offs coming from Asia, I'll just quit shaving, wear only a robe, live at the top of a hill and answer only to Sage.  Maybe if I go out I'll wear a Nehru jacket.

...

At the polls again!

So a few questions before us.  Should the Liberals pay for their gas plant sins?  Do we let the PCs shut down public services and raise the unemployment rate while trumpeting their lame plan that will by their own admission fall desperately short of the target job count?  Do we reward the NDP for abandoning their Social Democracy roots and become Liberal Party 2.0?

I suppose the underlying question that the electorate should ask is, will my life and my community's life be better with..?

Will my life be better with fewer medical staff and fewer teachers but potentially a few dollars in lower taxes?  Well, I suppose you could use those few dollars to hire a private teacher and a private nurse.. well maybe not, a couple of green plastic bills doesn't go that far and it might be embarrassing for you to exchange morning greetings with your now unemployed neighbour.

Will my life be better with the Liberals (1.0) still in office?  Well, your life is probably not too bad now, and they have almost replaced the medical services and school shutdowns from the Harris days, so maybe.  You just might need to hold your nose from the stench of corruption.

Will my life be better with the NDP in office?  I am not sure what the platform is anymore, it might be 'We're the Liberals but with sandals'.  I wouldn't hold Bob Rae's term against them, they inherited a massive debt and shaky economy, that and Bob forgot that the unions were his friends.

Will my life be better voting Green, Communist, Independent or even spoiling your ballot with a "None of the above"?

In the end, you must decide.  Certainly not voting is not something you should entertain, too many ppl, men and women, have lost their life defending or gaining the right.

Have a good day.

16 comments:

  1. Great, so now we have a Liberal majority, thanks NDP.. wasted your power on an election. Dumb.

    ReplyDelete