Thursday 11 June 2015

Working in Montréal today --Throw-down junk food

Good morning folks,

I will be working in Montréal today.

You may have heard the phrase "hard-core pornography is hard to define but I know it when I see it."  That was written by Potter Stewart -Associate Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court in the 1964 case of Jacobellis v. Ohio, and that the movie at the center of the case, The Lovers, wasn't hard-core porn.

How about an illness that is hard to define, or a mental illness?

Do you seek out foods that are not genetically modified?
How about those that are free from pesticides?
Or herbicides?
Low on sugar, salt?
How about controlling your gluten intake for those of you with gluten intolerance?
Do you skip out on lunch with friends at KFC because you can't bear to costume the oil laden buzzard parts?

Friends, you may be suffering from Orthorexia Nervosa.  It sounds way better if you cup your palms to you mouth and say it in kind of a deep echo voice.  I prefer to say it using the voice of the late, great Phil Hartman, "Hi kids, you might remember me from such high school Heath Class films as I suffered from Orthorexia Nervosa, but then I had some french fries."

Um.. Uncle Daniel, you seem to be stretching this out a bit, thin on material this morning?

Yeah, a little bit, but just sat down on the plane, so we'll see if I can fill it in naturally. But really, I have found that if I can squeeze "hard-core pornography" into the first sentence or two, readership goes sky high for The Pulp, especially among my Eritrean readers, much like just mentioning Vodka and Potatoes causes my Eastern European readers to go crazy, Just sayin'.

See, now that is funny, many of you are trying to figure out if I was stereotyping or insulting anyone. You are pretty sure that I was, you're just having a hard time getting a handle on it. We'll check back later with the comments and see.

Bit now let's get back to the writing and less writing about the writing.

It was about Orthorexia Nervosa remember?  Please try to stay focused on the subject matter.

I read in the Guardian that the disease was characterized as and that Orthorexics commonly have rigid rules around eating.  Refusing to touch sugar, salt, caffeine in their diet and refuse foods that have come into contact with pesticides, herbicides or contain artificial additives.

Ursula Philpot, chairperson of the British Dietetic Association mental health division, was quoted "I am definitely seeing significantly more orthorexics than just a few years ago. Other eating disorders focus on quantity of food but orthorexics can be overweight or look normal. They are solely concerned with the quality of the food they put in their bodies, refining and restricting their diets according to their personal understanding of which foods are truly pure.".

Here's one of the best, it seems that those most susceptible are middle-class, well-educated people that perform their own research into food and food quality.  I am not sh*tting you, that is the characterization of the vulnerable.

So what should one do?

Well, to avoid getting diagnosed and having the straight jacket fitted and bag pulled over your head like Randal McMurphy and getting shipped off to be watched by nurse Mildred Rached, I suggest that you keep some "throw down" junk food.

Keep a bag of Cheetos! in the glovebox of your car, some high sugar, high caffeine - heart attack in a can beverage on your desk at work, and some Pogos in your freezer at home.  Then when the state metal health folks pull your car over or visit you at work, Bam! you throw down and avoid all suspicion.

No need to thank me for the advice, I am here for you.

Have a great day, be healthy -but don't get caught.


  1. ah yes, the ones persnickety about food are the middle-class ‘cause the rich have the money to eat whatever they want while the poor can only eat what’s at the food bank!!

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