Thursday 4 April 2013

Working in Ottawa today --Joe Fresh Skies

Good morning folks, I will be working in Ottawa today.

Two topics of fun and equality.

The first, Samoa Airlines re-price strategy, flying by the pound.  The SA has changed their pricing model to be a rate per kilo, one submits their rate and obtain a price to their destination and on check-in get weighed with the airline having the option to adjust prices accordingly.  Canadian airlines are not expected to follow suit, and Westjet's Robert Palmer (no, the Robert Palmer you are thinking about died in 2003) said it could never be considered fair in anyway, Porter Air also followed WJ's line and added that the Canadian Transportation Agency has moved the other way to ensure equal treatment for all.

But wait!  The airline sells a service where they pick you up, that is, they provide a service that counters the effect of gravity and transport you to a distant location.  The costs associated with such a service is all about gravity.

For a very quick refresher, gravity is that natural force or phenomena that causes physical bodies to be attracted to each other with a force proportional to their masses.  In order to separate the bodies, one must apply a counter force equal to that proportional force.  To really dummy it down, the more a body weighs, the more energy the airline must apply, the more jet fuel to be burned.  An plane filled with anorexic flat chested Joe Fresh models burns far less fuel than one burdened down with sumo wrestlers.  So why should the Joe Fresh model pay the same, or more precisely why should she subsidize the cost of his flight.

Equal treatment, bah!

And now the second topic.  Dodgeball bans in schools.

Or holding hands in Tennessee schools --seems its a gateway activity that leads to sex.  Um..  I think that puberty is a gateway activity that leads ultimately to having sex.

I read recently of the move to ban the use of red ink for teachers marking quizzes and tests, seems the red ink is 'too confrontational'.  This of course means that the first time that young adults will encounter red ink in the real world such as on credit card statement, parking ticket, job evaluation they may fly into a fit of uncontrollable rage in reaction to what will no doubt be perceived as an unprovoked attack own their person.

BFFs.  it's about time, nothing more annoying that having to hear about it, and after all making best friends is by its very nature an exclusionary process, accordingly several schools have banned the process in order to save the feelings of the other kids stuck in the  'friend of friend' or worse the 'okay friend' categories.

And lastly, a Brampton Ontario school has banned hugging.  It was a logical extension of their zero tolerance on hitting and shoving.

Have a good day, and please treat everyone exactly the same.  Um..  right after I eat my breakfast in my e-upgrade point business class seat.


  1. Now that's some quality pulp... I'll be ordering the pulp free OJ this morning.