Thursday, 14 November 2013

Working in Ottawa today --She don't lie; she don't lie

Good morning folks,

I will be working in Ottawa today.

Blues, R&B, Rap, Punk, Funk, I have some familiarity with them all, but I confess, I just don't know any crack tunes.  In fact I am really only familiar with Gary Louris' Cocaine, recorded by a few but notably..

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Eric Clapton -

If you wanna hang out you've got to take her out; cocaine. 
If you wanna get down, down on the ground; cocaine. 

So even Santa has jumped on the down with Mayor Quimby, I mean Mayor Rob Crack-Whore Ford, bandwagon.   Seems Santa and the Mrs. believe that the drunken stupor Mayor of this fine city is a bad seed.. a bad example for children and want him to not walk in front of this year's Santa Claus parade.

She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie; cocaine. 
If you got bad news, you wanna kick them blues; cocaine. 

The Mayor, in a moment of simultaneous contriteness and belligerence, says, yes he has made mistakes (one of the largest understatements of recent memory) but will be walking in front of Santa as his right as Mayor.

When your day is done and you wanna run; cocaine. 
She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie; cocaine. 

Meanwhile.. city staffers.. at least the ones that haven't been fired for telling the stuporesque mayor to get help (say.. how soon before the city is sued for wrongful dismissal... I predict substantial settlement costs) tell of drug and alcohol use in the Mayor's office and a penchant for Poutine..

If your thing is gone and you wanna ride on; cocaine. 
Don't forget this fact, you can't get it back; cocaine. 

And last night we've heard that the Mayor has admitted to buying drugs while in office and being a general EF-up.  Reportedly he also has also been entertaining paid escorts in his office and as one city staffer put it, and she was sniffing something.

She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie; cocaine. 
She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie; cocaine.

Have a good day, keep your noses clean.

9 comments:

  1. Am I the only one that gets Valieant Recovery Addiction Centre ads?

    ReplyDelete
  2. "...a penchant for Poutine." Indeed. Ha!

    Somehow, I think Robbie will make it out of this whole thing riding on top.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Okay, seems the 'Escort' was Alana the model. Probabably a mistaken job assumption, but this is why mothers usually counsel their 24 y/o daughters not to hang out with overweight middle aged stuporesque drunks late at night, ppl might mistake them for hookers.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh my, there is more... Ford, while wearing a Toronto Argonauts' jersey has explained that he has enough pussy to eat at home and did not tell a council woman that he wanted to eat hers. --Don't worry kids, your kitty is safe, the mayor was talking about.. um.. er.. Hey, look, is that Santa over there?

    ReplyDelete
  5. and.. The Toronto Argonauts have issued several tweets, that they wished he hadn't been wearing their jersey and that this issue resolves itself soon.

    ReplyDelete
  6. and.. Mayor Ford wants to sue ppl that talked to the police. Yeah.. no. If a person lied to the police, sure. But if someone thinks that a pretty 24 y/o girl hanging out with a drunk middle aged dude past most ppl's bed time is a hooker, a reasonable person would agree.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Meanwhile.. the rest of the world is ROFL

    ReplyDelete