Thursday, 17 September 2015

Working in Montréal today --Puppy Love

Good morning folks,

I will be working in Montréal today.

So I had a bit of a harrowing morning making my flight.  All my fault, as I actually hadn't checked in and didn't realize this until about 30 minutes before the flight.  Of course the flight closes 45 minutes before the flight and they give away all of the unclaimed seats.  Mine included.  However, the Air Canada SE Concierge saved the day for me and I am comfortably sitting in seat 15F.  I just hope the fellow sitting more comfortably in my 1D seat appreciates his good luck.

So staying on the Air Flight topic.  I read this AM about an Air Canada flight that was diverted from its Tel Aviv to Toronto route to make an unscheduled and reportedly a bit costly landing in Frankfurt, Germany to transfer a French Bulldog to another flight.

The $10,000 exercise was due to a heater in the cargo hold malfunctioning.  Without the heater the cargo hold would get pretty cold, certainly in the sub zeros as the air outside the aircraft at 40,000 feet is around -60 C.  It is pretty much certain that if the flight was not diverted there would have been a frozen bull dog landing at YYZ.

So that's all fine but for $10,000 I have imagined a slightly different solution and my first screenplay.

The plane just hits cruising altitude having lifted off on time out of Tel Aviv when the captain played by Peter Graves, who played opposite Leslie Nielsen in the 1980 movie Airplane, bursts of out the flight deck door and says..

"Folks, we have a problem."  .. removes aviator sunglasses .. "Down in the cargo hold is a little dog, and that little dog will die unless we can find a brave man to do the impossible!"  .. "Sure, we could spend $10,000 and delay you fine folks for 75 minutes, or we can be bold and save that little doggie and not miss our connections too." .. "What do you say people, who can I count on?"

And then it happens.  Slowly, out of his seat, the unlikely hero rises, played by Kurt Russell reprising his Army Specialist role of the 1996 movie Executive Decision.  Inexplicably he is wearing the same tuxedo.  "Now I'm not much of a hero, and I don't think you folks want me, but I don't want to have a frozen Popsicle of a pooch on my conscience either."

Now some of you are expecting Halle Berry to make an appearance as a flight attendant, but frankly, I hear she a bit of a gem to work with, so not on my film thank you very much!  No I am thinking about Jennifer Garner as the by the book flight attendant that only likes cats, that is actually a undercover CIA operative.

Captain Graves explains "Okay hotshot, it really isn't that dangerous, one access panel down through the floor in the galley and then through a somewhat narrow but manageable passage and through a rubberized canvas zippered panel and you can grab onto that dog carrier.  Don't drop it, hang on for all you're worth and pass it back up through that access panel" .. "Can you do this man, do you have what it takes?"

Kurt reassures Captain Graves, "I'll try not to let you down Cappy"

Dropping down into the cramped passage below, the camera close up shows his breath fogging in the cold.  A few deliberate steps and he's at the zippered panel.  The zipper is jammed!!  The music volume increases.. heavy on the base drums, another camera on a thermometer showing the mercury plunging fast.  Will it be too late?

Where is Agent Garner?  At the hatch! With a pair of fingernail clippers, special CIA fingernail clippers with built in anti-zipper jamming technology, she tosses them down to Kurt, "Use the clippers Kurt, unjam that zipper!"

Success! Kurt slips effortlessly through the opening in the panel where he sees the dog carrier.  the camera pans back to Agent Garner, the tears well up in her eyes.. too late.  The violins play a soft minor E melody, the passenger exchange pained glances for the camera.

"Bark"

What was that?  Up from the cargo hold Kurt emerges with the rescued doggy, Kurt and Agent Garner fall into each other's arms and as the camera pulls back the familiar singing voice of Mr. Paul Anka carries us out with..

And they called it puppy love
Oh, I guess they'll never know
How a young heart really feels
And why I love her so

And they called it puppy love
Just because we're in our teens
Tell them all it isn't fair
To take away my only dream

I cry each night my tears for you
My tears are all in vain
I'll hope and I'll pray that maybe someday
You'll be back in my arms once again

Someone, help me, help me, help me please
Is the answer up above
How can I, how can I tell them
This is not a puppy love

Have a great day!

10 comments:

  1. Beautiful man, just beautifu!

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  2. Isn't Peter Graves... in these grave? Maybe a living actor, how about Johnny Depp for the pilot?

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  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  4. Ryan Gosling for the dreamy hero!

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  5. Love it! Will you be showing at next years TIFF? :)

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