Tuesday 6 December 2011
Working in Ottawa today --War on Children
Good morning folks,
More shaking up of my tried and true schedule. Heading off to the Ottawa office for the day.
So now that Toronto's war on the automobile is over, Mayor Rob "F*cking" Ford..
--The mayor renamed himself recently during a call to 911. I believe it was, "Don't you know who I am? I am Rob "F*cking" Ford, the Mayor of this city!". Prior, he was known as Rob "Fat F*ck" Ford--
..but I digress, Mayor Ford has launch the new WAR ON CHILDREN.
If my column was on CNN, I would have special graphics floating across the screen. WAR ON CHILDREN.
That's right kids, the Mayor himself has set target on you. Starting this summer if you want to go swimming at the outdoor wading and swimming pools, you'll need to pay $2. This will be interesting economics, as most of the outdoor wading and swimming pools have no staff to collect the $2, just some staff to come by and check the water chemistry. Perhaps one of the newly unemployed city staff can volunteer?
Next, if you kids think you can just hang out at the library and sign out documentaries, learning material and other non-feature DVDs, think again.. The libraries will adopt a new BlockBuster video style DVD rental business, this comes at a great time as the BlockBuster store near Etobicoke's Burnhamthorpe Road library has just closed, I'm sure the library can hire the unemployed manager on the cheap!
Oh yes, in an odd bit of twisty logic, Budget Chief Michael Del Grande notes that we are primarily English speaking in Toronto, and so he logically questions why the libraries should be spending money on ESL programs. "We're spending tons of money on ESL, should we not have a discussion on spending money on non-English resources?". Perhaps he doesn't know what ESL means. I can't make this stuff up.
And lastly, ambulances will get [to their destinations] slower. They are already 3 minutes longer than their target, and with the budget reductions they can only get slower.
On wait, that's a war on us all.
Have a good day.