Thursday, 1 November 2012

Working in Ottawa today -- Dr. Evil revisited

Good morning folks,

I will be working in Ottawa today.

Ahem.  My dear readers,  We need to be afraid.  Very afraid.  Let me explain.  Syria borders Turkey on its north side, Iraq on its east, Israel and Jordan to the south and the Mediterranean sea and Lebanon to the west.  It has close to 200,000 km2 and has around 17 million people.  And..

Syria knows how to make hurricanes. (this statement has much more effect if you whisper it).  Let's try again in a whisper-hushed tone, "Syria knows how to make hurricanes".   Big hurricanes. Super Storms. Storms of the Century. Franken-Storms!  Readers.. Listen carefully, Syria blows.  When I first became aware of this, I had read it on the CNN scroller.  "Syria behind Sandy".

Now when I read this I naturally assumed that some staffer at CNN was trying to communicate that a news report pertaining to Syria was following a news story about Hurricane Sandy.  I laughed a bit out loud and said to Sharlene, "Some guy is sitting on his sofa (we talked about sofas before, they are like couches but have fewer letters) and is yelling to his wife, "Damn it Hellen, get in here, it's those damn Syrians screwing with the weather again!".

But sadly this was not the case of a CNN staffer not having a great command of the English language.. No.

While I did not stick around for the CNN report yesterday AM, I did check late last night.. after I noticed that all the Syrians that I know were all wearing windbreakers with lightning bolt logos on the back.. 

Shamal, do we have a clip to show?  Hmmm.. a clip.. a vid-e-o clip.. no clip?  Sorry, thought we had a clip.

And we're back.

All of the reports that I found can be traced to a Facebook page "syrian.army.news" that states, "Sources confirmed to us that Hurricane Sandy that is slamming the U.S. was set off by highly advanced technologies developed by the heroic Iranian regime that supports the resistance, with coordination of our resistive Syrian regime".

Wow.  Bitchin'.

My friends, I feel that I too should come clean on some of my prior acts. June 15 of last year I made a Lunar Eclipse.  I meant to have it visible in Canada but I miscalculated the gravity well effect of the earth and moon largely because when my friend Bob made the moon, he used the wrong kind of cheese; it was really best to view it from Tanzania, sorry about that.  I will do better on my next eclipse April 25, 2013 I have made sure that you will be able to view here in Canada and as an added treat, I will keep the skies fairly clear.  No need to thank me, it will be my pleasure to do this for my friends.

Reportedly the Sandy's damage was "punishment for whoever dares to attack Syria's (Bashar) al-Assad and threaten peace and stability."  I guess the 69 people killed in the Caribbean were anti al-Assad too?

Hey, if you were smart enough to develop this technology, would you not be smart enough to threaten to use it first, Dr. Evil style?  "I will unleash this powerful hurricane weapon against America, the great Satin, and its godless infidels unless you pay.. One Million Dollars!"

Have a good day, buy kite futures.

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