Thursday, 19 March 2015
Working in Montréal today --Nationalize Pierogies Now!
Good morning folks,
I will be working in Montréal today.
I think Peter Zeihan is short sighted. In a recent book, 'The Accidental Superpowers', Zeihan speculates on the political future of my former stompin' ground, Alberta. Zeihan considers Alberta's oil as a prime economic force that results in high net contributions from Alberta to the rest of Canada and that everyone in Alberta is young and hip compared to the old foagies in the rest of the country as a prime reason to give up on confederation and skip south to the U.S.
Now sure, the U.S. would likely embrace a new state, but of course the U.S. would likely want a name change, perhaps.. North Texas, maybe Southern Alaska. But wait .. what about Russia?
Sure, it makes sense. The U.S. will be (or so it claims) energy self sufficient sometime in 2016, so it really should not need Alberta's tar sands, and with the passing of Harper's new policy of allowing armed U.S. law enforcement officers to operate in Canada to enforce U.S. laws, the entire 49th is deemed to be irrelevant anyway.
No.. Alberta should be be being wooed by Putin!
Uncle Daniel, lost your mind?
No, I mean nyet! For the most part the world misunderstands Putin's aggression. We hear reports that it is about the ports of the Crimean Peninsula, the production of oil and transport of natural gas, restoring Russia to the territories held prior to the fall of the Ottoman Empire, a distraction from the Pussy Riot trial.. Nyet.
It's about the pierogi.
Alberta has Canada's largest supply of pierogies. While everyone has been focused on oil, radical Muslims, Penny's new short hair on Big Bang, and whether Justin and Thomas will just stop courting and passing each other love notes at recess and just get married, Vegreville has been secretly acquiring control of all means of production and distribution of pierogies.
The same was true of the Ukraine, that's why Putin was there, and that's why Putin should be here.
Citizens wake up! If we ignore the unrest in Alberta there could be a domino effect, first Vegreville, then the rest of Alberta, then before long, special taxes on pierogies, foreign control over the means of production, an enslavement of the workers, pierogi lines, it will be like Gorki Park but with bacon and cheese and less William Hurt.
Harper needs to move fast, the only solution I see is a National Pierogi Program. The NPP. Harper can dust off legislation from Trudeau's 1970's National Energy Program, could set up a Crown Corporation (remember those?) to take ownership of all pierogies on Canadian soil, and nationalize the production, marketing, delivery, and royalty distributions, PierogiCanada!
No need to thanks me, I'm here to help.
Have a great day. My Canada includes Vegreville.