Working in Montréal today --Nationalize Pierogies Now!

Good morning folks,

I will be working in Montréal today.

I think Peter Zeihan is short sighted.  In a recent book, 'The Accidental Superpowers', Zeihan speculates on the political future of my former stompin' ground, Alberta.  Zeihan considers Alberta's oil as a prime economic force that results in high net contributions from Alberta to the rest of Canada and that everyone in Alberta is young and hip compared to the old foagies in the rest of the country as a prime reason to give up on confederation and skip south to the U.S.

Now sure, the U.S. would likely embrace a new state, but of course the U.S. would likely want a name change, perhaps.. North Texas, maybe Southern Alaska.  But wait .. what about Russia?

Sure, it makes sense.   The U.S. will be (or so it claims) energy self sufficient sometime in 2016, so it really should not need Alberta's tar sands, and with the passing of Harper's new policy of allowing armed U.S. law enforcement officers to operate in Canada to enforce U.S. laws, the entire 49th is deemed to be irrelevant anyway.

No.. Alberta should be be being wooed by Putin!

Uncle Daniel, lost your mind?

No, I mean nyet! For the most part the world misunderstands Putin's aggression.  We hear reports that it is about the ports of the Crimean Peninsula, the production of oil and transport of natural gas, restoring Russia to the territories held prior to the fall of the Ottoman Empire, a distraction from the Pussy Riot trial..  Nyet.

It's about the pierogi.

Alberta has Canada's largest supply of pierogies.   While everyone has been focused on oil, radical Muslims, Penny's new short hair on Big Bang, and whether Justin and Thomas will just stop courting and passing each other love notes at recess and just get married, Vegreville has been secretly acquiring control of all means of production and distribution of pierogies.

The same was true of the Ukraine, that's why Putin was there, and that's why Putin should be here.

Citizens wake up!  If we ignore the unrest in Alberta there could be a domino effect, first Vegreville, then the rest of Alberta, then before long, special taxes on pierogies, foreign control over the means of production, an enslavement of the workers, pierogi lines, it will be like Gorki Park but with bacon and cheese and less William Hurt.

Harper needs to move fast, the only solution I see is a National Pierogi Program. The NPP.  Harper can dust off legislation from Trudeau's 1970's National Energy Program, could set up a Crown Corporation (remember those?) to take ownership of all pierogies on Canadian soil, and nationalize the production, marketing, delivery, and royalty distributions, PierogiCanada!

No need to thanks me, I'm here to help.

Have a great day.  My Canada includes Vegreville.

Working in Montréal today --Я Blogger

Good morning folks,

I will be working in Montréal today and tomorrow.

In Soviet Russia, Internet Watches YOU!

That was the best that I could do while using a Yakov Smirnoff voice in my head.  That's right kids, it's the Russia segment of today's Pulp!  That fun loving Russian President Vladimir Putin will sign into law new Internet Blogger regulations that will require said Bloggers to register and follow strict gov't rules.

This is no surprise if you ask me, censorship of media and peoples is pretty much standard fare when gov'ts set about to whatever the hell they want, but lack the character to withstand scrutiny and criticism.

I am usually loathe to refer to my self as a 'Blogger' and instead refer to these missives as Pulps, since while yes, I do often comment on current events, I am equally likely to explore how much g-force may be required to compress a monkey into a shallow disk of gel.  (http://pulp.puckett.ca/2013/01/working-in-montreal-today-compressed.html). Ew.  BUT, since I am here and nothing else inspired me this morning..

Moscow in Crisis!

Now that's a headline.  And if I were a Blogger, I might lead in with that.  Over the last few weeks I have heard friends and colleagues question whether the current Western World strategy of economic sanctions will have much if any effect on Russia and their illegal occupation of the Ukraine.  

I will attempt to put into perspective.    The Russian economy is about the size of Canada's.  The Ukraine is about the same land mass as France and about the same population of South Korea. How long do you suppose Canada could hold out in a military occupation campaign of South Korea while the rest of the Western World stopped buying our Potash, Wheat, Oil and Poutine?

Just askin'.

So if you ask me, Putin is starting to feel pressures from within as the economic sanctions come into effect and thinks that by shutting up some Internet gossip his life will be better.

It won't.

So today, Я Blogger.

Working in Ottawa today -Porn, Canadian Style

Good morning folks,

I will be working in Ottawa today

If politics bores you, keep reading, the porn is at the end.

You may have surmised that I generally hold politicians in contempt and regard their motives with suspicion.  This week Hillary is on the block, not because of what she said, but because she denied saying it.

Two days ago while at a speaking engagement with the Boys and Girls club of Long Beech (Recreation and Park Association Join Partnership for a Healthier America), Hillary made certain comments about Putin's movements into the Ukraine, specifically into Crimea.

Hillary stated, “Now if this sounds familiar, it’s what Hitler did back in the 30s,” and then she continued with, “All the Germans that were ... the ethnic Germans, the Germans by ancestry who were in places like Czechoslovakia and Romania and other places, Hitler kept saying they’re not being treated right. I must go and protect my people and that’s what’s gotten everybody so nervous.”

Now here's the thing... her assessment is correct.  All too often we hear the Hitler card played where it just does not apply, like when some Tea-Party play thing reacts to Obama's half hearted attempt at bringing about some Social Justice and introduces a Healthcare bill.. "He's like Hitler!" -- no Biff, you must have missed History 101.  but Hillary, yeah baby, you actually nailed a good comparison.

Putin did put Russian troops on the Ukrainian peninsula in Crimea, insisting that Russia has a right to protect its interests and Russian-speakers in Crimea and elsewhere in Ukraine.  Now bear in mind that Russian-speaking peoples make up about 60% of the population of the Ukraine, so protect the Russian-speakers from whom?

From this writer's seat it just looks like Putin took advantage of pro-Democracy protests as an easy entrance into occupation.

But Hilary did an about face yesterday, and now denies that she made the comparison of Putin to Hitler.  Odd.. go back up and read the quote again and you will read that she clearly invoked the hitler card.

But no, Hillary now states,  "What I said yesterday is that the claims by President Putin and other Russians that they had to go into Crimea and maybe further into eastern Ukraine because they had to protect the Russian minorities ... is reminiscent of claims that were made back in the 1930s when Germany under the Nazis kept talking about how they had to protect German minorities in Poland, in Czechoslovakia and elsewhere throughout Europe.".

"I'm not making a comparison certainly, but I am recommending that we perhaps can learn from this tactic that has been used before".

Yeah.. Hillary, sweetheart, you are making a comparison, and it was apt.

"Um.. Uncle Daniel didn't you promise PORN?"

Yes, yes I did.  Yesterday the CRTC decided enough was enough.. or maybe I should say was not enough and issued a reprimand to the Canadian Adult Movie Channel AOV for not airing enough Canadian porn.

The CRTC want to see at least 8 and a half hours of Canadian made porn per day.  But that's not all.. no.  Closed captioning, where is the closed captioning and equally important, where is the audio descriptions of the activity on screen?

Now these descriptive video voice-over guys usually deliver in a low monotone voice.. 

"A pizza delivery guy walks into the apartment carrying a flat cardboard box.  From the bedroom walks a shapely young women wearing a thin negligee.  oh no, she has suffered a wardrobe malfunction.. Bow Chicka Wow Wow! out has popped a set of double entendres!"

But the real opportunity here is reminiscent of the CanCon boom in the 70's for Canadian Music, that brought us Ann Murray, BTO, Foghat.. and now CanPorn!  An opportunity for Canadian young men and women to show their stuff! to become stars!

Have a great, don't hesitate to try out a new career!

Working in Ottawa today --Bolsheviks R Us

Good morning folks,

I will be working in Ottawa today.

I may be a Bolshevik.  Maybe not a card carrying member of the Russian Democratic Workers' Party, but certainly a believer in Social Democracy.   Yeah, I know what you are thinking, "gosh Uncle Daniel, nothing in your writings would have suggested that :p".

What prompted the invocation of the 'B' word?  This morning I was reading an account of President Obama in a Jay Leno interview from yesterday, where the Pres made the statement, "There is no spying on Americans, we don’t have a domestic spying program".  WOW what bullshit.

You see The POTUS was playing a bit of a word game, trying to make a distinction between gathering up banking, phone, email, browsing, purchasing, records of ordinary citizens and the separate process of looking at the records.  Obama's little word game with the outmatched Leno reminded me of a game of cat and mouse.

And then I remembered Tommy Douglas.  And the mice.  And the cats.  Douglas told a story of Mice and Cats to demonstrate the illogic of continuing to elect Black Cats or White Cats to administer and enact laws over the Mice of Mouseland, and how one mouse had the idea of not electing cats, but mice to administer the land and enact laws.  It was a great idea, of course the Cats called the mouse with the idea a Bolshevik and locked him up.  See prior pulp on Sedition (http://pulp.puckett.ca/2013/05/working-in-ottawa-today-sedition-r-us.html).

So to continue on what this Black Cat is up to and also to continue on with the domestic spying program, Obama has cancelled a planned meeting with Russia's Putin 'cause he's ticked that Russia granted Snowden temporary asylum.

Snowden.  You may recall the pulp that announced the exposure of the domestic spying program starting with the news that Verizon was providing phone records to the U.S. gov't (http://pulp.puckett.ca/2013/06/working-in-montreal-today-cover-your.html). Snowden, through an act of conscience revealed to the world the domestic spying program.  What you may not be aware of is that the majority (thin, but none-the-less a majority) of Americans see Snowden not as a treasonous bastard that the White House has labelled him but as a whistleblower.

And that is very interesting.  The U.S. gov't has lied to the population about there being no domestic spying, moreover the U.S. Constitution specifically provides against it (Obama should know that since he is a Constitutional Lawyer, whereas I just blog about Constitutional Law), and Snowden reveals the lie, and the ppl see him as a whistleblower and none-the-less, the POTUS risks diplomatic relations with Russia (another member of the UN Security Council I will add).

For the People, by the People?  No.  By Black and White Cats.

Have a good day folks, you Bolsheviks too.