Thursday, 8 May 2014

Working in Montréal today --Quit bugging me

Hi Folks,

I will be working in Montréal today and will get a chance to see the kick off of the new Montréal Transit Bus advertising campaign.   Surfin' the web with Distributel on a Montréal transit bus.  No.  I did not bring Bermuda shorts.

Hey kids, ever wonder what the deadliest life form to humans on this planet is?

No, it's not sharks, they only kill about 10 people per year --It's like they aren't even trying.

Any more guesses?

Hey Uncle Daniel is it humans?

No it isn't and put your hand back down, this isn't a classroom and you are not the Statue of Liberty.  Us humans only kill about 1/2 a million people per year, and yes, we are trying.

Uncle Daniel, is it snakes or hippos?  No and no.  Stop answering if you don't know.  Snakes are pretty good at it, but only manage to take down 50 thousand or so.  Hippos -- really? Hippos? You are clearly just guessing.  They are towards the rear of the pack with only 500.

Give up?  It is Mosquitos.

Through their efforts they manage to knock off almost 3/4 of a million of us every year.

And good news!  They are refining their craft, and in the Caribbean they are currently spreading a new virus  for the region, the chikungunya virus.  It is usually found in Asia, and this particular strain is resistant to treatment.

The World Health Organization has reported 4000 confirmed cases, and an additional 30,000 suspected cases.  My advice is to forego any trips to the Caribbean, but pay close attention to this one.  The mosquito that carries this virus is the Aedes aegypti, yes the same blood sucker responsible for the Dengue Fever so this virus could easily spread into the Southern United States.


On a related note, Brian this is for you.  The small (very small) non-biting mosquito-like fly that has invaded Southern Ontario is the Midge.  Specifically the chironomid member of the midge family.

Have a great day, hope nothing bugs ya.

:)

Friday, 2 May 2014

Working in Ottawa today --Leave Britney Alone

Good morning folks,

It will be working in Ottawa today.

While brushing my teeth this morning, some of the week's event were shuffling around in my head, when the cold realization came to me in a blinding flash, a glimpse into a Grand Unification Theory of String Theory, Parallel Dimensions, Reincarnation, Shared Consciousness, General Relativity, Visualisability Theory and all things Celeb.

Rob Ford is an aging foul mouthed balding blonde over weight failed Mayor of Toronto with a drug opportunity, I mean problem, and simultaneously an aging foul mouthed balding blonde failed pop star with a drug problem, I mean opportunity.

Oops, he did it again.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss Britney Spears.

Wait!  Uncle Daniel, is this one of those times where you employ that cheap literary device and imbed the lyrics of some song, just to pad up your Pulp to a minimum size?

Yes.

Well, Uncle Daniel, What do your publishers think about this blatant attempt at filling column space with whatever the hell you just copy and paste down?

They pay me exactly the same, regardless.

Huh.  How about that.

Again.. Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss Mayor Ford singing his classic..

"yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah 

I think I did it again
I made you believe we're more than just friends
Oh baby
It might seem like a crush
But it doesn't mean that I'm serious
'Cause to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me
Oh baby, baby

[CHORUS:]
Oops!...I did it again
I played with your heart, got lost in the game
Oh baby, baby
Oops!...You think I'm in love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent

You see my problem is this
I'm dreaming away
Wishing that heroes, they truly exist
I cry, watching the days
Can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways
But to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me
Baby, oh

[Repeat CHORUS]

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

"All aboard"
"Britney, before you go, there's something I want you to have"
"Oh, it's beautiful, but wait a minute, isn't this...?"
"Yeah, yes it is"
"But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end"
"Well baby, I went down and got it for you"
"Oh, you shouldn't have"

Oops!...I did it again to your heart
Got lost in this game, oh baby
Oops!...You think that I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent"

Have a great day.